We’re looking forward to introducing you to Brian Pate. Check out our conversation below.
Brian, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What is a normal day like for you right now?
My day starts typically between 5:30am and 6:00am although many days I am up by 4:30am.
I start with my reading. I’m using artificial intelligence to give me summaries of news stories and I can dig deeper if I want. I use the knowledge I gain from reading to help provide a higher level of service to my clients and to teach my students and coaching clients how to maximize their business.
By 8am, and most days earlier, I am on the phone. Clients, vendors, other agents and other instructors.
I hit social media to catch up on what family, friends and neighbors have been up to.
After that, I am spending a lot of time lead generating for my real estate business or writing for my teaching/coaching business. I spend at least 2-3 hours per day writing.
That may sound dull for most but I love writing, playing with new tech tools like AI and developing content for my websites and social media accounts.
My afternoons from 1pm-5pm are reserved for chaos. In the part of the real estate business nobody sees, we get calls with people asking us to show them a house, come do a listing presentation, or speak at a gathering; sometimes with very little notice. That is why I rarely schedule appointments in the afternoon. If my schedule were packed full, I would not be able to help people who ask for it and that is important to me.
Unless I have a listing appointment or a showing, or I am teaching (night classes are now VERY rare), I spend my nights with my wife at home, going out to dinner, or watching a baseball game on the screened porch.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am an independent real estate company that is a one man show. I own Pate Realty Group that does residential, investment and land listings in the Youngsville, Wake Forest and Franklin County areas.
In addition, I am the owner of Brian Pate Seminars which is a teaching, training and coaching organization. I teach or speak approximately 70 days per year. The main focus of my teaching is continuing education for North Carolina real estate licensees but I am also speaking at events inside and outside of the state.
I have found a specialization in artificial intelligence for real estate agents and small businesses and love teaching those courses. If I were a rap group I would be called “Nerdy by Nature” (shout out to all the GenX hip hop fans), so I LOVE playing with new gadgets and tools and learning how they work.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
My earliest memory of feeling powerful was when I started DJing. I grew up in a family that music was everywhere. My mom and dad were both in the Marching Chiefs at Florida State University. They liked it so much, they and another couple, started the FSU Alumni Band. Over 50 year later, the Alumni Band still marches at pre-game with the Chiefs, even though mom and dad stopped marching a few years ago.
Back to my point; there was ALWAYS music either playing on the stereo (and loudly after I got my first stereo setup), the radio in the car, and even concerts. I saw more concerts as a boy than most people see in their lifetimes.
When I was six, I had a solo in the Christmas play at elementary school. After the show, I told my parents, “I know what I want to do when I grow up… talk into a microphone.”
A few years later, I bought two “Jam Boxes” and a bunch of cassettes and started DJing for birthday parties for my friends. In high school, I started DJing school dances and that led to DJing in nightclubs. I grew up in Myrtle Beach so finding a job as a night club DJ was not difficult.
The second largest club I ever played was the Palladium near the Pavilion in Myrtle Beach. It was an old theater for not so nice movies. The owners cleaned it up, put in a huge dance floor and a monster sound system and hired me to DJ. Thursday night was college night and most of the kids i want to high school with were in the crowd. Speaking of the crowd, there were usually over 2,500 people on those college nights. We went until early in the mornings and I remember feeling powerful.
Then, I started getting full of myself and my ego got out of control. Many of my friends would tell you I still have an ego today and that is true. I am proud of where I am and the hard work it took to get here. I worked two and sometimes three jobs making ends meet early in my career until I found real estate (and even after in tough times).
After being an elected official in Wake Forest, North Carolina from 2015-2019, I figured out that power is an illusion. We are also subject to the actions of others. I don’t consider myself to be powerful.
Some consider me influential, but that is because of the relationships I have created and nurtured for years. If someone needs some help and I know someone that can help them, I connect the two. That’s influence, not power and it is more important to be influential to help create positive outcomes than it is to be powerful in my opinion.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
Defining wounds. That is an easy one.
I have two daughters and I am incredibly proud of both of them. We have a good relationship now but I created problems with them.
When they were born, I was still running my DJ company and I played most Friday and Saturday nights for different events. The problem was that I wasn’t at home.
Family and friends always told me, “Enjoy it while they are young because you will miss it when they get older.” I didn’t believe them and I am still paying for it to this day.
I missed their birthday parties sometimes, missed sleepovers with their friends, and just lost a lot of time with them that could have deepened our relationship.
When their mother and I got divorced, I didn’t have the connection with them and it was a struggle for me emotionally. I can’t tell you how many nights I sat on the couch by myself watching TV wishing I had them there with me to watch a movie or just hang out.
You don’t learn until they are older that they listened to you. It often manifests itself when they quote back some of your sayings.
Both of my daughters are smarter than me. I just know more than they do thanks to life experiences.
I always taught them to find their passion and figure out how to monetize it so they can make a living. They have both done that and for that I am very thankful.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Is the public version of you the real you?
I have had people ask a version of this question before. I can tell you I am authentic in private and public.
My wife laughs when I make a fool of myself at functions and events and says, “He’s all mine!”
After my divorce and meeting my wife, Kirke, I decided that I was going to be completely true to myself. That meant saying “no” to some people who I had never told “no” before. You find out who your friends are when you are not at their beck and call anymore.
After I turned 50, my close circle of friends got smaller. There are only a couple of people that I open up with completely and often it is only with my wife. Does that mean the public doesn’t see the real me? Absolutely not. I am who I am and the people I hang out with the most are authentic to themselves also.
My grandfather, Martinez Baker, used to tell me, “You are a combination of the five people you hang out with the most. That is true. I see it more now as I have grown older and rearranged some of my relationships with people. At this point, if you are still a part of my life, then I find value in being around you and I trust you. Break that trust and the circle will get smaller.
I am proudly and unapologetically me. Sometimes I am foul mouthed and obnoxious, while other times I can be very empathetic. The one thing you can count on if I am your friend, I am all in on being your friend, even if we don’t talk every single day.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: What do you think people will most misunderstand about your legacy?
People have no idea about all of the things my wife and I do for our community and others in it.
We talked earlier about authenticity. I do not believe that I need to promote when I do something good in the community. I know others will post about where they make donations and post on social media about all of the good things they do. That is great for them.
For me and my wife, we don’t need, nor do we seek that recognition. We know what we have done and we are proud that we are able to do those things.
Each of us easily volunteers over 100 hours per year to different charities that mean something to us. We don’t have to let everyone know. The people that matter know and that is good enough for us.
After all, my wife and I met at a Wake Forest Chamber of Commerce networking event almost 30 years ago even though we didn’t start dating until 2019. That is a major pillar in the foundation of our relationship. We have both always given back individually and now we do it together.
We are very fortunate to be able to help others and we do as often as we can.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.paterealty.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bp8realty/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianmpate/
- Twitter: https://x.com/djbrianpate
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BP8Realty
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/brianpaterealtor
