Today we’d like to introduce you to Philip Deluca.
Hi Philip, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
When I graduated in 1977 in Clinical Social Work, I decided to specialize in marriage counseling. When a marriage breaks up the pain ripples out and negatively affects a lot of people. The children are traumatized, sometimes for life. All parties are poorer. People turn to alcohol, promiscuity. get depressed and even suicide, to name a few. So I thought for every marriage/relationship saved, I could prevent a lot of problems and pain. The problem I immediately ran into when I started working with couples was that the conventional communication models being used then and even now – “Express yourself” and “Talk It Through” – did not work as promised. Even worse, they seemed to be making the couples problems worse. So I set out trying to figure out why they did not work as promised, and even more, what would work. The breakthrough in solving both these problems came when, in response to some health problems I was experiencing, I came across the latest mind-body science, Viola! I had my answer as to why “talking through problems” when people are upset made problems worse. The science was clear -we are not wired for solving problems when our “fight/flight” reptilian brain hijacks from frontal thinking brain. Rather we are wired for conflict, not connection/resolution. That is why “Talking through” problems when upset was making situations worse. My 40 year search for answers/alternatives was finally paying off. I then integrated what the science was saying would work into a new communication model. I applied/perfected it clinically with the couples I was seeing, and put together a 5 step communication model that was easy to grasp, quick to implement and brought immediate improvement in many cases. I then put the information in a power point that I offered to clients/people at no charge that explained the science and gave a solution. The results were so good that I am now writing a book based on that information, the title of which explains it all, “Stop Talking and Start Communicating!” How “Talking Through Problems” destroys, love, joy, hope, peace and health.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
It has been a very lonely journey to develop this approach. The “Express Yourself” model has been around since the Woodstock “let it all hang out” era. Their was never any science to support these approaches, but the field got caught up in the spirit that was prevalent in the 1970’s and then absorbed into the culture as “settled science”. As a result I was on my own questioning the prevailing narrative and developing an alternative model with both clients and professionals. Once my power point became available as a learning tool, clients immediately “got it” and resounding with resounding success stories. Unfortunately, the counseling field is still stuck using the conventional model causing the break up of a lot of marriages that could be saved, quite easily and quickly in many cases.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am in private practice in the Charlotte, NC area. I have 50 years of experience with relationship issues. During this time I have worked to perfect an alternative communication model which I have described above. I wrote a book in 1996 called, “The Solo Partner: Repairing Your Relationship On Your Own.” When that book came out I presented on national TV, internationally and with workshops both the professional and lay audiences. Since then, I focused on perfecting my communicational model.
Are there any apps, books, podcasts, blogs or other resources you think our readers should check out?
There is a ton of resources that are available to people. Apps on relaxing, books/online videos on issues that people are dealing with: i.e; narcissism, Adult Children of Alcoholics, pornography addiction resources, Affair recovery books, and so on
Pricing:
- I take most major insurance as well as accept self pay.
Contact Info:
