Today we’d like to introduce you to Luisana Bethencourt.
Hi Luisana, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I met my Venezuelan-American husband when I was finishing my Associate’s Degree in Design. My husband and I wanted to get married and have kids, but as I was accepting such an overwhelming responsibility of raising children, I began to ask “where was my professional training?” I learned to design houses, not to shape homes. I realized that no one was going to instruct me on how to be a good mother in that present culture; I had to learn this on my own. Here is where my story with Families to Families begins.
My engineer father referred me to Lilian Gilbreth, the mother of the famous family that inspired the novel and the original movie Cheaper by the Dozen, and she remains an inspiration to me in the way she applied the disciplines of psychology and engineering in not only improving her home but the homes of countless others. From here, I sought out any courses, books, and lectures where I could expand my knowledge of psychology, human development, and especially philosophical anthropology to integrate these into the formation of my home. This endeavor of the family has no simple guidebook because it involves the profound reality of the human person intermingling with science, art, heart, and transcendence. Along the way, I encountered other families with the same struggles and the same questions.
In 1994, together with an amazing group of families dedicated to forming strong, faithful youth, we founded the Pan-American Institute of Family Studies (IPEF) in Caracas, Venezuela. We partnered and borrowed from other similar programs and what emerged was our version of family education. I spent four years serving on the IPEF Board of Directors, working hard to thrust the institute forward, and it took off, belying the obvious need for such programs in society. Also during this time, I dedicated myself to coaching other families through the IPEF curriculum. As a family coach, I led workshops and groups, and I helped to educate parents. Meanwhile, I began to work as a school counselor at a Catholic private high school in the area, mentoring young high school girls through adolescence which also involved guiding their parents. By 2001, IPEF was growing, the families at the school were thriving, and my husband and I welcomed our ninth child into our home.
All the while, the country around us began to fall apart and life in Venezuela became unmanageable and unsafe. So in 2006, we decided to move to the United States, immigrating, I imagine, like the Von Trapp family to small-town, suburban North Carolina. It was a time of resilience. My husband and I grieved the loss of our country, our home, and our careers, and our children needed to adjust to the unfamiliarity of a new life. All this also served to show the vital importance of a strong family, capable of weathering the difficulties of immigration and persevering through the grief and vulnerability which this entailed.
Left again without a guidebook, I searched for the means to succeed. My first step was to organize a girls’ club accentuating character education to provide my girls with the opportunity to form friends in a healthy environment. I became a certified facilitator for another program called “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families and Teens” (a Franklin Covey Program) and became a certified life coach with the Center for Coaching Certification.
I started meeting with families at the library which quickly grew to overflowing and hosting small lectures to help other families navigate the same shared struggles. I even received several invitations to appear on TV and radio shows, such as Univision, and Vida Carolina, among others. I think they saw my family as an endangered species: 9 thriving children from the same two parents and a passion for a strong family structure. I noticed then the profound need for the formation and education of so many parents just like myself. So in 2010, Families to Families began to take shape.
Meanwhile, my husband and I started a family Mediation & Coaching firm where we consulted with families already in crisis. The biggest lesson I learned from this endeavor is that many families needed guidance and support much sooner. With earlier interventions and formation, families have a much higher success of avoiding those very crisis points we tried to assist them in. It was an interruption in my earlier goals but eventually had the effect of instilling in me a sense of urgency, and I decided to refocus my time back on developing Families to Families. I launched pilot groups and set about developing a curriculum that focused not just on resources but on supporting and accompanying couples early in their family formation. The “art of accompaniment”—walking with someone on their journey is what young parents need the most.
In 2020, the pandemic year forced all of us to experience unlimited family time, up close and personal. We had to discover new priorities and incorporate those priorities as a unit, and some families suffered immense challenges. This new generation of parents still asks, “How do you do it?”; the same questions I was asking myself 34 years ago. I want to provide the answer during a watershed moment for our culture which desperately needs a strong building block of society—the family.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Smooth road? Is there is such a thing?
“Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” Renne Brown
When the pandemic hit Families to Families. It seemed like a blow to our chances, but soon it yielded new opportunities. Virtual meetings were easier to coordinate and while many families suffered immense challenges, society as a whole was forced to look inside their homes and reevaluate the worth of strong and healthy families.
Despite the obstacles, messages like these continue to motivate me to build Families to Families so it can help more people:
“Mom, I want to thank you for being so faithful to your 35 years of marriage. With that, you give me life again and again. Today I woke up thinking I want to thank you with all my heart for your perseverance. The more I grow, the more I realize that it should not have been easy but now we are all seeing the fruits and you will see many more. I love you infinitely!” –A text from one of my daughters in 2020
“I want to thank you for all the time, intellect, and heart you put into our parenting group. You are changing the world by planting these seeds of experience and the patience and love to nurture the belief that we can acquire better ways of being for our families, a higher standard and level of goals within which God can nourish the souls in our care…so much. I want to thank you.” — A parent from a toddlers’ Intentional Parenting Group, 2016
“Your wisdom is invaluable and we are truly grateful for your giving to us in this vital way. Now, just to apply all that we learned at home hand by hand with you!”– A parent from a toddler’s Intentional Parenting Group, March 2016
“You have been such a blessing to me! My mama guru! You taught me so much about motherhood and keeping inner peace!” – A parent coaching client, 2017
“Our family conversations are way more serious and driven with specific topics. I love it! It’s nice to think more about our future. My spouse is very much alive at the moment and it’s not always easy to get him thinking about many years from now, so it’s good for us to be intentional in our actions.” — A mother of “first child, first-year” Intentional Parenting Group, 2020
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
Families to Families is a unique approach to parenting with professionalism and community. Modeled after the business MasterMind model, the groups offer a combination of brainstorming, education, peer accountability, and support. Groups of 5-6 couples in similar family stages meet for 3-month periods with a facilitator/mentor who accompanies them through curated resources and supports them in applying what they learn in their homes. Parents learn how they can effectively form the whole person – physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually and not be alone on that road.
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
Born to a strong Venezuelan industrial engineer and an artistic mother, I learned well the value of family-centered life. My mother inspired in me a keen sense of creativity, my father a sense of orderliness, diligence, and management. Unsurprisingly, I studied architecture in college. Little did I know that my life’s dedication toward building would not involve the construction of houses but the formation of homes.
I kept my interest in architecture, art, and design all my life, growing as a watercolor hobbyist and giving back to my community as a docent at the NC Art Museum of Art for more than six years. Also, as a good Venezuelan, I have a passion for strong coffee: What gets me up in the morning is a good cup of coffee! And after that, the day develops through the directions where I can make an impact, I can serve, and where I can organize to push goals forward. I gravitate toward involvements that call on me to create, develop, produce, and influence in a way that allows me to make a difference in people’s lives and their families.
Pricing:
- $250 per family per quarter of Mastermind Groups + Coaching
- Individualized Package for Parenting Mentoring Coaching
- Given everything going on in our world, we recognize that families might be under various levels of financial strain. So we have adopted the model of a delightful lunch cafe in downtown Raleigh called A Place at Table that functions as “pay what you can.” If you are able and willing to pay the suggested amount, that’s great! If you can’t pay, pay what you can. If you can pay more, add a little extra for those who can’t.
Contact Info:
- Email: luisanab@familiestofamilies.org
- Website: familiestofamilies.org
Image Credits
Luisana celebrating the ninth consecutive high school graduation in the family!
