Check Out Yolandi Rause’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Yolandi Rause.

Hi Yolandi, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, with my husband and two very energetic dogs. I was born in South Africa but mostly grew up in America. My story doesn’t start with me; it starts with my parents. When I was young, I found my mom’s journals. I remember going into the crawl space with a flashlight and just reading. If she knew, then she would have killed me. But as I read her story, my compassion and empathy grew for my mom. I had learned that when my mom became pregnant as a teenager, she had little to no support. My mom was quickly labeled and ostracized by friends and family. My mom was branded with a Scarlet Letter. A couple of years after my mom gave birth to me, my parents decided to leave South Africa. Fast forward about a decade, and my parents had four daughters, of which I’m the youngest. My parents, with no college degrees, have paved the way for me and all three of my sisters.

We are all pursuing, or already have, a master’s degree or higher. My mom did not allow anyone’s labels to hold her back, nor do we. My parents will soon open up a wedding venue in Arvonia, VA, where they have spent the last few years revitalizing and rebuilding Bransford Hill Farm. They had no other support other than each other and their faith. My blog’s title, Letters to Scarlet, is an allegory from the book “The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Although “The Scarlet Letter” was set in 1642, many women still struggle with a letter of their own. These letters are dehumanizing, convincing us that we are less-than and producing feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem.

I had many letters of my own. I struggled in school with math and reading. It may have been the language barrier, or it may have been that I am dyslexic, but either way, learning was difficult for me. I was labeled pretty quickly as the “blondie.” However, in 1st grade, I won a writing contest. I loved reading and creative writing. I felt that some things are better said through written words. My mom always encouraged me in education and leadership. My Dad taught me to take the things that people may throw at me and use them to my advantage. When I ran for student council in Middle School, I turned the label “Blondie” into a slogan: “Don’t be a Blondie vote for Yolandi.” I won. I have been given a few more harsh letters throughout my life, but for those details, you will have to read a letter or two on the blog. My writing and counseling career passion came from listening to people’s stories and living out my own. As a counselor, I see the humanity in its most vulnerable form. I sit alongside other branded women hoping to see them write another chapter in their books. Each day, as I listen to these stories, I think about all of the women in my life who would be encouraged to hear that they don’t carry these letters alone. But instead of being presented with true, raw stories- they are surrounded by polished Instagram stories.

Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Ha! I wish I could say that writing was the plan all along. But to be honest, I was always scared to write for the public. I enjoyed listening to other’s stories and didn’t think what I had to say mattered. I also had to try hard in school with technical writing. All of my professors were harsh on me for my grammar and technical writing skills. However, whenever I would share personal stories, give a speech, or write from the heart, I could see its impact on people. I got to the point where I just wanted to write these stories down and decided that if something came from it, “great,” but if not, “also great.” My lovely husband, who tends to be a perfectionist, edits all of my writing. I guess you could say he is my Chief Editor and Chief Supporter.

When I finally published my first very vulnerable letter, I remember seeing that only five people had read it. It was a tad crushing. But then I remembered my mom and how many people had supported her. She had herself, my dad, and lots of faith in God. Letters to Scarlet is the opposite of smooth stories. Letters to Scarlet is about tough stories to talk about and listen to. Including my journey. It took me years to pull the trigger on starting this blog, but I’m glad I finally did it. I have clients tell me all the time that my blog encouraged them to come to therapy.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
Looking at the options, it was difficult for me to choose just one. I guess I see myself as a creative professional. My main career is as a therapist for young women. However, I felt that my creative bones were yearning for more. That is when I decided I could create something more accessible that any woman could find and feel seen and heard.

Many of my clients write their letters as an exercise in therapy. One goal for my blog is to eventually publish others’ letters in a collective attempt to give Scarlet a voice (with permission and without breaking confidentiality). I want women to know they are not alone. I hope these letters can be a vessel for commonality and healing together.

I specialize in anxiety, depression, life transitions, and identity. However, my blog has covered sexually transmitted diseases, grief, self-harm, anger, etc. What sets me apart from other therapists is that if I ask my clients to be vulnerable, I will be as well. I believe that self-disclosure can be a powerful tool in therapy. I loved when Brene Brown said, “Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.” My continuing hope is to see my letters bring that connection. They have already opened the door for vulnerable conversation. I can say that much.

Can you tell us more about what you were like growing up?
Surprisingly I was a bit of a goofball and a talker growing up. My mom would describe me as “The kid that just wanted to make people laugh,” and my dad would say, “I was always talking.” I loved people and connecting from a very young age. One of my older sisters would call me a chameleon because I could talk to just about anyone and fit just about anywhere. I now know that most of these tendencies were coping skills. I struggled with anxiety and didn’t want to be alone. But like I tell my clients, sometimes our mental health tendencies can be yielded into a strength if managed well. Most people who are anxious are extremely creative.

Pricing:

• I write to write. If I ever earn money for writing I would probably start a non-profit for women who can’t afford Mental Health Services.
• I work as a Counselor for LifeCare Counseling and Coaching. Sessions vary depending on insurance.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.letterstoscarlet.com
• Instagram: letterstoscarlet
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/letterstoscarlet
• Other: http://lifecarecc.com/staff/yolandi-rause-ms-lcmhca/

Image Credits
Shawn Rause Photography Yolandi Rause digital design