Daily Inspiration: Meet KayKay Lavelle

Today we’d like to introduce you to KayKay Lavelle.  

Hi KayKay, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today.
I always wanted to be an entertainer; I just never knew how at first. When someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say “I wanna be famous.” Every day since then, I have worked toward living that fantasy (some may say delusion), but I’m a firm believer in manifesting the future you want for yourself. So, I began performing in drag as soon as I turned 18. I began in Pulse Ultra Club in Myrtle Beach, SC. At the time, it was beside a straight bar, and you had to walk right past the bouncers and drunk rowdy patrons on your way in. I was terrified! Of course, it’s common that your first time in drag, you compete in a talent show where your drag mother helps pull you together. I didn’t have a drag mother or a drag family. I was the only contestant alone, but I contribute that to my success today. If I had someone there to pull me together, what would I have learned? I would’ve learned their way of doing things while covering up my mistakes. So, I, along with that entire dressing room, was surprised when I—the underdog, won. I made a promise to myself that day that I would never underestimate my ability to express myself better than anyone else can. No one can be me like I can. 

When I moved to Orlando in 2015, I began performing at Pulse in their Twisted Tuesday talent contest. I was working at Disney World at the time, and facial hair was very strict in regards to appearance, so I could either choose facial hair or drag. Or was there a third option? Axel Andrews seemed to think there was. He encouraged me to keep the beard, and the rest is history. Orlando is where I discovered just how many ways there are to do drag. After the tragedy, I moved back up to NC to be closer to family. I knew that I wanted to keep my beard because bearded drag was a piece of my story that began in a place that I would never be able to perform in again. 

It wasn’t easy at first. Of course, being in NC as the only bearded drag queen, I was bound to get many strange looks. I accepted that I would never be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay! Because I’ll be someone’s jug of milk, and milk does a body good. That response is also the winning answer I gave when I competed in North Carolina Entertainer of the Year FI in 2018. I placed top 3 among over 12 contestants from North and South Carolina who also qualified to compete via a city preliminary. That meant I was about to make history… and I did… as the first bearded queen to qualify and compete at a National Pageant. I didn’t place highly at National Entertainer of the Year, but I was there, and I earned my place on the tape. When people watch the videos, they will see me and my name. Competing in the same system as stars such as Shangela, Nina West, Trinity the Tuck, and many more National drag treasures. But even though I didn’t win the National crown, I became an inspiration to those that look like me. Plus-sized and against the grain. I have hope to the underdogs. I have hope to my younger self who always dreamed of making a splash. Competing and performing … simply existing in spaces where I’m not supposed to fit in, is my superpower. 

I’ve carried that ambition and independence all over the world. I’ve performed in NYC for Drag Con, I’ve performed on cruise ships in international waters, and everywhere in between. I’ve worked polls and recorded music with RPDR star Brita Filter in efforts to encourage young queer voices to be heard. This song landed features from RuPaul’s Drag Race, NewNowNext, LogoTV, Queerty, Instinct Magazine, & Bear World Magazine. 

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
One of the biggest struggles was trying to fit into places that weren’t “for me.” I was told as soon as I started performing in NC with a beard that they wouldn’t get it. The thing is, life is not a perfect puzzle with perfect pieces. We don’t change to make ourselves fit, we make room for us to fit the way that we are. 

Another difficult thing with drag is remembering the value in yourself out of drag. People will treat you differently in drag and have a lot more to criticize you on. Sometimes they will ignore you out of drag even. 

I think the most amazing thing about being a queer person is how resilient it has made me. There have been people trying to kill people like me since before I was born. To this day, there are political balls in motion to literally kill me just for doing drag. Make no mistake, we hear them, and we see them. We also know that we’re smarter and a lot harder to beat. They should ask their friends from Stonewall how this story ends— spoiler; ours doesn’t. Love always wins. 

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am the South East’s premiere bearded queen! From NYC to Miami and into international waters, I have graced the stages of many, being the cornerstone of old-school and new-school drag. I’ve been featured on the cover of queer magazines such as QNotes and YesWeekly! as well as being covered in NewNowNext and Queerty for her trailblazing efforts. I have hosted bear events and even performed on bear cruises at an international level. I was also featured in season 2 of Hightown on Starz. Breaking the glass ceiling of the pageant world by being the first bearded queen to qualify and compete at National Entertainer of the Year in 2018, I strive to show the world that there’s nothing wrong with being big, bold, and beautiful. It’s more important to be authentically you than it is for those around you to accept it. 

The crisis has affected us all in different ways. How has it affected you, and any important lessons or epiphanies you can share with us?
I have learned that everything is a privilege. We have to be grateful for everything and humble in the process. Covid closed down bars and clubs. Entertainment wasn’t happening live. I was a full-time entertainer starting in 2018, so it was an abrupt end to my livelihood. I did what I, as a queer person, have done my entire life; I dusted myself off, I fixed my makeup, and I found a way to take control over my life. I started my own business with my stimulus check. I invested it into making drag jewelry. It gave me an entrepreneurial edge that I was lacking before. It made me tougher. When something bad happens, we have two options; control the situation or let the situation control you. I like to choose the first option. 

Contact Info:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/kaykaylavelle
• Facebook: www.Facebook.com/kaykaylavelle
• Twitter: www.Twitter.com/kaykaylavelle

Image Credits
Eric Messer