Meet Jeanne Matthews Sommer

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jeanne Matthews Sommer.  

Hi Jeanne, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
As a professor of Religious Studies at various colleges, I had been asked by my former students to officiate their weddings for 21 years prior to beginning my own business. Through these experiences, I learned how stressful the whole wedding planning process can be. In 2007, a former student called to ask if I might officiate her wedding, and she immediately began a litany of woes before she had even begun to plan her wedding. Since I was the officiant, it seemed particularly sad to me that people were hoping their wedding days would be over before they even began. I jokingly replied: ” Maybe I should go into business and do things differently.” She replied: “You should!” Immediately, I felt a warm feeling in my gut, thinking to myself: “That would be fun.” I mentioned this to a new friend of mine, not realizing she had been a realtor in a former life. Three months later, she called to tell me there was a nearly 17 acre property for sale right next to the college where I was teaching. I went to look at it and realized it would be perfect for what I had in mind.  I then literally took every dime to my name and bought the property. The journey began.  I learned how to create and sustain a business, how to manage property, grow flowers, manage employees, and more. While I am the sole owner, I have also had some key people to support me along the way: one of my former students, Grace, who came to work with me 13 years ago and who has every skill I do not have; Pedro and Rudi who know how to problem solve for every possible mechanical problem on the land; and a local attorney, Joanne, who helped me with so many business-related questions for a reasonable rate until I could get my footing.

I started out thinking that what was stressing couples the most was all the infrastructure needed to host a largely outdoor event: chairs, tables, linens, dishes, utensils, tents, trash cans, ice scoops, etc. So, I  began offering the most inclusive package I could think of, shy of having all the vendors included as well. After three years, I realized that people were still stressed as they found their vendors: food, photography, DJ, flowers, etc. By that time, I had met tons of local vendors and had found some hidden gems, so I asked them if they’d work with me to create a package that was truly all-inclusive. I devised a way to price a complete wedding, be it for 2 people or 350 people, so that the ENTIRE cost of a wedding, except for attire and alcohol (which they can purchase and provide themselves), would be known upfront, at contract signing. This, I felt, would take away the majority of the stress, as I could see that people were going over budget more often than not, and they were also worn out from all the decisions they had to make.

The process of finding all the vendors for a wedding is exhausting, like building one’s own house. I believed that if I could put it all together and then completely put everything out there on the website, with nothing hidden, then people would have all the information needed to make a wise decision. Through my teaching, I had been impressed by the Society of Friends (Quakers) who had invented the set price, as opposed to the barter system. They had become some of the most successful business people because they were trusted. I took this to heart. People tried to dissuade me from putting everything on the website, telling me that people have a “7th-grade mentality” and wouldn’t read for more than 7 seconds, but I stuck to my convictions and jokingly said, “Well, my website will pre-screen for literacy.” Over the years, one of the most consistent comments I’ve received has been about just this: gratitude that I put so much information out there, including all the pricing, to the penny. I like to say that nothing is hidden except for our river (the Swannanoa).

If you want to know the back story of what has helped me to get where I am today with the business, then I’d have to say: growing up in a family business and knowing that it’s a lot of work and one must love the work; being a lifelong lap swimmer developed the discipline of being able to stick to repeat tasks despite wanting to give up; being a mom and finding a deep place inside of myself that enabled me to birth my daughter naturally and adopt my second daughter despite obstacles helped me to know how to conceive of and birth a business while remaining calm in the process; my faith that, despite the suffering we experience in life, there is a beneficence at the heart of the universe; my desire to foster beauty through color, flowers, and animals; the ability to laugh at myself, to make mistakes, learn from them, and make new ones. These are all pieces of the crazy quilt of my life that have enabled me to pivot when necessary and endure.

Most of all, I really believe that a business should stand for something. The unique, fully priced, all-inclusivity of our wedding packages is born from a deep and genuine personal respect for diversity and inclusion. I believe the world needs to know, more than ever, the joy that comes from loving and serving all different kinds of people without judgment, actually celebrating those differences instead of being afraid of or put off by them. If I had to name one thing that is the reason for the success of the business and my life, it would be this: trying to live a seamless life where I am, to the degree possible, the same person at work, at home, or with friends and where this seamless life is threaded together by one overarching concern, in my case: love and respect for all kinds of people and the earth.  (At least that’s my goal!)

When I was a kid, I learned that the NC state motto is Esse Quam Videri, “To be rather than to seem.” I want my life, my business, my hobbies to all be born out of one genuine impulse that I want to study and perfect over and over again until I die: how truly to LOVE without judgment every person I encounter. I suspect that if you asked a couple who has wed at the farm over the years if they felt this, they’d likely say Yes. They felt respected and cared for in a genuine manner. I want them to feel around me that it is as if they have a grandmother who just happens to have a business with all the infrastructure needed for a wedding. I want them to feel that at home and at ease. I have a LONG way to go in living into this abiding life principle in a truly genuine manner, but the desire is just as present today as it was 16 years ago. As Rumi said: “Let the beauty you love be the work you do.” I think the abiding success of a business is due to having a deeply rooted purpose.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
There have been so many, but I will highlight two: the sheer number of skills I’ve needed in order to develop and lead several interrelated and complex businesses: business structure, flower growing, facility and land management, bookkeeping, advertising, wedding planning, hiring and retaining employees, and more. The second relates specifically to hiring and retaining the right employees. It took me a long time to learn that if there is one weak link on the team it brings everyone else down. I have had to learn to lead with my head and my heart, not my heart alone. It’s not fair to everyone if I don’t make the hard decisions. When you build a business that is this interconnected across so many moving parts, then every component part/person needs to understand its effect on the whole system. It’s easy to think that one’s part is just a part. But the tiniest detail matters. The DJ is no more important than the housekeeper; the caterer no more important than the person who cares for the carriage horses. At 62 years old, I’ve done all or part of just about every job, from the most physical to the most mundane. I don’t ask people to do things without having a real sense of the difficulty and necessary respect for the task. We all play a vital role. So, finding and keeping the kind of employee who sees their work within a context larger than their own experience and to affirm them for this team orientation has been important.

Thanks – so, what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I want the property and the business to survive me into the generations and be a place where all kinds of people can visit and feel deeply loved and respected. Religion is supposed to provide that for people, but it is fading in importance or becoming increasingly narrow. Apart from their families, there aren’t that many places where people can go to find a kind of touchstone to remember who they are or to encourage them in their healthy becoming.  Land is getting consumed as well. Before long, there will be few, if any, large, undeveloped parcels of land. I developed a by-line for the business: We grow food (that my employees and the food bank can have for free); We grow flowers; We grow love. Food sustains us. The flowers add beauty to the land and weddings and they feed the bees. And the love we share and foster among couples should be examples of what respectful loving looks like. Long after I’m gone, I want the land and the business and any other enterprises that may ensue, to reflect the genuine love and care I have for all kinds of people, land, and animals. By the end of 2023, I want to take the money I’ve been paying for debt service on the land and direct much of it to support a fund that multiplies the love in our community. My other by-line is: “Love Multiplies!” When you love someone, it should make you better at loving others, not more selfish or insulated.  To this end, I recently started the Jeanne Sommer Fund for the Support of Women and Girls at the Community Foundation of Western N.C. (with priority for those who are survivors of domestic and gun violence). I want couples to trust that a portion of what they share with us financially is having a direct impact upon others in a positive manner. I’m most excited about that for this next stage of the business.  

Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
Simply don’t be afraid to ask for help or admit that you don’t know something you think you should know already. Make sure your company is known for giving to the community. Support other businesses; teach and share what you know, be connected to your local Chamber of Commerce, and reach out to organizations such as SCORE (Service Corp of Retired Executives)

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.hiddenriverevents.com
• Instagram: @hiddenriverevents. and @hiddenriverflowers
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HiddenRiverEvents
• Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/hidden_river
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIJc0-P4ZNA

Image Credits
Jesse Kitt
Hannah Sommer