Exploring Life & Business with Tammy McDonald of True Balance Therapy & Life Coaching

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tammy McDonald.

Hi Tammy, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
When I think back throughout my life’s journey, I can honestly say that there has always been some desire to help and assist others in the healing process, even when it wasn’t paying the bills. However, it wasn’t until the early 1990s, after I had gotten married, that my journey would shift. I recently graduated from college and married my college sweetheart, Sean. Like most young couples, we were working to keep the lights on while trying to find a balance as a newly wedded couple. I worked during the day, while Sean worked at night. We were truly two ships passing in the night. I knew it wasn’t ideal, nor would it be forever. I just needed to be patient because we would be moving to DC that same year for me to start my new job (Arabic Translator).

One evening, Sean called during his lunch break and told me how much he disliked our erratic schedules. He asked if I would be interested in working together to care for adolescents and teens in a live-in group home setting. Our primary job would be teaching them social skills and assisting them with living as productive members of the community/society. In the short-term, I thought it would be a good idea and quite easy because I grew up sharing my childhood home with children that needed support. He applied for the job that evening and got an interview two days later. After a very long interview process, we got the job, and after an even longer training period, we were given a home to start implementing the teaching/training. This meant saying goodbye to our beloved Raleigh and moving back to my hometown, Wilmington, NC.

Undenounced, this would prove to be the career that would challenge me professionally and personally. I had never cried so much in my life, and the only things that helped me persevere were my off days and my original plans to move to DC to start my new job. I had managed to make it 5 months 3 weeks, and 4 days before I planned to turn in my resignation and head off to DC. Set the stage for the following Monday, all I had to do was make it through the weekend, and it was going to be super easy because we were off! Sean and I woke up that morning (Friday), prepared the children for school, had all the transition notes for our relief staff member, and were set to enjoy some much-needed R&R in Raleigh. At 10 am, the phone rang; it was our supervisor. She was calling to let us know that our relief staff member had called off and if we could cover the weekend shift. “Sure,” I said with a half-professional half deflated voice. I relayed the message to Sean. In his optimistic voice, he reminded me that our weekend would still be quiet because the children were going on home visits. “So instead of going to Raleigh, we can find something to do in Wilmington.” We made plans to deliver the children to their homes so that we could start enjoying our weekend. Sean would drive the children home that lived further out, and I would drive the local one’s home. I managed to successfully get everyone home and only had one drop-off left, which by the way, happened to be the one child that was the most challenging for me.

I accompanied the child inside, and before I could begin the transition with the child’s mother, she began verbally attacking her child. I can still hear the hateful words that spewed out of this mother’s mouth, the instant hurt and pain that I saw consuming the child, immediately let me see past a free weekend! Without hesitating, I stood in front of the child to shield the venom that was being absorbed. Unwilling to leave the child, I instructed the child to return to the van and explained to her mother that I would not be granting a home visit for the weekend. To this day, I can still see the relief on the child’s face and the willingness to follow my instruction without any opposition. I immediately contacted my supervisor to let her know what had transpired and the child’s social worker. I remembered walking back into the group home with one child and seeing the puzzled look on my husband’s face. Once I explained what happened, he told me he was proud of my decision. So, what was supposed to be a weekend of being on call, turned into a working weekend, a decision I don’t regret! To my surprise, this challenging child was pleasant, and my willingness to be an advocate and not turn a blind eye to the obvious abuse, showed the child that there were individuals in the world that cared and weren’t afraid to spring into action!

Fast forward to Monday, aka “Resignation Day,” my supervisor had arrived at the group home to conduct Sean’s and my monthly evaluation. I can still recall walking down the stairs with the envelope and placing it under my place mat as I sat down at the dining room table. I planned to give the resignation to my supervisor after she monitored us reviewing the children’s school notes. I remember Sean reviewing half of the children’s reports at the kitchen table, and I was in the dining room. I was ready to review the last child, who was the same child that stayed behind for the weekend and the one that displayed the most behaviors during this time. Before I could start to review the school note, the child passed a letter over to me.  Normally this would require me to respond with a corrective teaching procedure, but instead, I reminded myself of the evening’s end goal (resigning)! So, I consciously chose to open the letter and read it. As I read, a floodgate of tears filled my eyes (which we were instructed not to do in training). This emotional outburst caught the attention of everyone in the room, resulting in one of the other children bellowing out, “Tammy is crying.” My husband and supervisor quickly came over to investigate. “Honey, are you okay?” My husband asked. I folded the letter and held it close to my chest as I walked over to the child and said, “thank you,” followed up with an immediate favorable response cost (a big hug). I then walked over to the placemat, removed the letter, and looked at my husband as I ripped the resignation letter in half, “I can’t leave, I matter, and I make a difference.”

Those words would be repeated for years by so many others I have assisted. Every time I hear it, I am honored and humbled that I have been allowed to be an advocate for those who have no voice and those trying to find their voice. On that day, I got a glimpse of my potential and enjoyed walking in my purpose and passion. For the last 28 years, I have made it my duty and mission to hold a non-judgmental space for individuals as they work to transform their self-destructive existence into self-love and acceptance.

We all face challenges, but looking back, would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
With any business, there will always be anticipated obstacles and challenges. For me, it has been gauging the economy’s temperature and how it will impact the business. This challenge keeps me on my toes because I am always working to reinvent myself to remain relevant. Sadly enough, on this journey, I’ve had to change my relationship status with so many individuals in my life. It wasn’t because there wasn’t enough room in the new season in my life, but because of the jealousy and greed that poisoned and tainted the environment, threatening everything I had worked for, for so many years! Surviving these obstacles and challenges has taught me not to waste my energy holding onto bitterness, anger, and resentment. Instead, I have consciously learned from past experiences, believe people when they show me who they are for the first time, and commit to listening to the quiet inner voice that whispers to me at 2 am.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about True Balance Therapy & Life Coaching?
This practice specializes in transformational coaching by assisting individuals with processing the emotional stressors and events that have negatively impacted their lives. This practice is unique because every goal is individualized based on our client’s vision for their lives. Our clients will experience one-on-one interaction/coaching using cognitive reconstruction and training through behavioral modification to introduce healthier skills to cope with life’s expected and unexpected events. This firm has also created a virtual mental wellness gym that encourages continuous education to promote balance and mental well-being.

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
When I process the role that luck played in my current journey, I truly have to say it wasn’t luck. I don’t believe in luck! I think I have arrived at this stage in my life by playing full out and with no regrets. I consciously chose not to allow “FEAR” to be the barrier or obstacle that restricted or limited my ability to thrive. I believe in planting seeds (creating ideas and setting goals) and watering them (hard work with deliberate dedication and determination). I have also learned to trust myself and honor myself enough to see my visions through, no matter what others think or say. I am the author of my story, and when it’s time to put down my pen and look back over my life’s journey and work, I never want to utter the word, “I should have, I could have, or I would have!”

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.truebalancewellnessgym.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/truebalancewellnessgym
• Instagram: True Balance Wellness Gym (@truebalancewellnessgym) •

Credits:
Megan Daniielle
Maria Mitchell
Angie Bryant
Chris Sims
Rene Slaught
Madyline Moore

Image Credits
Megan Daniielle Maria Angie Renee