Meet E. Lynn McKoy of Durham

Today we’d like to introduce you to E. Lynn McKoy

Hi E. Lynn, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
My journey started with something I didn’t even realize was a journey—my battle with mental health. I grew up in a family where mental health wasn’t something we talked about. So, when I started experiencing anxiety and depression at just 14 years old, I didn’t have the words to describe what was happening—I only knew I felt different, overwhelmed, and alone.
For years, I carried that weight in silence, believing that struggling internally was just part of life. I got good at masking, at being “okay” on the outside while battling so much inside. But the pain kept building, and eventually, it felt unbearable. I reached a breaking point, and at one of my lowest moments, I attempted suicide. At the time, I truly believed the world would be better off without me…but I survived. And in that survival, I was given a chance to do something I hadn’t done before—ask for help. That decision led me to therapy, where I started to unpack years of suppressed emotions and challenge the beliefs that had kept me silent. It wasn’t an overnight transformation, and healing was not a straight path, but for the first time, I had a space where I could be honest.

As I did the work, I began to see how many people around me were struggling in silence too, just like I had been. That realization ignited something in me. I started sharing my story—first in small conversations, then in larger spaces. What began as a personal journey evolved into a mission: to help others break their silence, to normalize these conversations, and to show that strength isn’t about suffering in silence—it’s about finding the courage to heal.

Now, as a speaker, I get to stand in front of audiences and be the voice I wish my 14-year-old self had heard. I talk about resilience, mental health, and how we can create environments—at home, at work, and in our communities—where people feel safe enough to be real. Because I’ve learned that our pain, when shared, can be transformed into purpose. And that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
It has been anything but a smooth road. Healing is not linear, and life has a way of testing you even when you think you’ve found your footing.

One of the hardest parts of my journey has been navigating grief. Over the course of just four years, I lost three of my siblings – one who took her own life. That kind of loss shakes you to your core. Just as I felt like I was making progress in my mental health, I was forced to confront a level of pain I never could have prepared for. Grief is not just sadness—it’s heavy, relentless, and unpredictable. There were days when it felt impossible to move forward, when the weight of that loss made me question everything.

I made the choice to lean into my grief instead of running from it. I sought support, I allowed myself to feel, and I let myself heal at my own pace.
Another struggle was learning to be open about my mental health in a world that still carries so much stigma around it. There were times I questioned whether I was sharing too much, whether people would judge me for my past. But every time I stood on a stage or had a conversation with someone who said, “I’ve been there too,” I was reminded why I do this.

The road hasn’t been smooth, but I’ve learned that even in the darkest moments, there is still light. There is still purpose and even in grief, even in struggle, we can find the strength to keep going. That’s what I try to share with others—because if I can keep going, so can they. I truly believe we are all connected in love and loss.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
By day, I serve as the Director of Corporate Compliance for a managed care organization. I am also a public speaker and mental health advocate who uses my personal journey with mental health, resilience, and grief to inspire and empower others. I specialize in speaking about overcoming adversity, improving organizational culture, and helping individuals find their voice—whether in their personal lives or professional settings.

What I’m known for is my ability to create deep, authentic connections with my audience. But let’s be real—nobody wants to sit through a heavy, emotional talk without a little laughter to lighten the load. That’s where my sense of humor comes in. I believe humor is a powerful tool for healing, so I weave it into my talks to create a space where people feel safe, engaged, and, most importantly, human. Life is hard enough—sometimes you just need a good laugh while learning how to navigate it.

One of the things I’m most proud of is how my work has helped break the silence around mental health—especially in spaces where it’s often ignored. Whether I’m speaking to corporate teams about creating healthier work environments, mentoring individuals who want to become better public speakers, or standing on a stage sharing my story, I know that every conversation is planting a seed of change.

What sets me apart is my willingness to be raw, real, and relatable. I don’t just speak from theory—I speak from lived experience. I know what it’s like to battle depression, to grieve deeply, to question your worth, and to fight for healing. And I also know that sometimes, the best way to get through the toughest moments is to find the humor in them. That authenticity allows me to connect with people on a deeper level because they know I’ve been where they are—and I’m not afraid to laugh (or make them laugh) along the way.

I’m especially proud of the events I’ve created in 2024, like my flagship event, Cupcakes + Conversations, an annual wellness event, and Moms + Mimosas (The Roses and Thorns of Motherhood), a gathering focused on celebrating the highs and lows of motherhood and fostering connection. These events are close to my heart because they bring people together in a space where they can share, support one another, and become a better version of themselves. Both events reflect my belief in the power of community and the importance of making space for meaningful dialogue.

My mission is simple: to help people realize they are not alone, that their story matters, and that their pain can have purpose. And if I can make just one person feel seen, understood, and maybe even laugh through the tears, then I know I’m doing exactly what I was meant to do.

What do you like best about our city? What do you like least?
Moving to Durham, from Washington, DC, over 20 years ago, was a scary transition because I had to leave my “Sissy”. The thought of starting over without her by my side was overwhelming, but Durham is where I found my people!
What I love most about this city is that it gave me some of my best friends—the kind who are considered ‘good glue’ friends that show up for you time and time again and remind you that you’re never alone. And even more than that, Durham is where I met my love…my husband, Lewis. It’s where my children were born (Kelli, Kelis and Logan). It’s where I established my family. So, beyond the great food, the sense of community, and the opportunities here, this city holds some of the most important relationships in my life.

Now, if we’re talking about what I *don’t* love—two words: rush hour. I don’t know what happens between 4 and 6 p.m., but it feels like the entire city decides to hit the road at the same time. And somehow, no matter which route you take, you’re still stuck in traffic. It has truly taught me patience.

Pricing:

• Pricing is based on audience size, topic and length of lecture.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.elynnmckoy.com
• Instagram: @elynnmckoy
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elynnmckoy